reality isn't real anymore

I remember having a very meaningful conversation on Meower sometime in the second half of 2024. I don't remember the physical location I was at during the conversation but I do remember having a fever and I remember the conversation changing my perspective on life.

for about two weeks. Because nothing ever changes. Nobody actually learns from anything around us. The same mistakes are repeated over and over. As far as anyone's concerned, first impressions matter more than last impressions, even though last impressions are what remain in memories the longest, simply because last impressions have never happened and never will. People who live in the present are in denial, people who look at the future with hope are naïve, and people who look at the past for inspiritation are outright stupid. Any momentary happiness is immediately cancelled out by equally momentary sadness or grief, which eventually ebbs away to uncover a vast and impersonal nothingness, vast like how the sea is vast when drowning in it and impersonal like how a parking fine is impersonal when it's not deserved.

today i watched Flow. It's very moving, would recommend. didn't understand what was up with the bird, though.

stop thinking about farewell golden ...

That evening I decided to try again, and on the very first attempt, I completed Farewell!!! After over a year since starting. I unfortunately haven't been able to upload the video (couldn't compress it enough, it's over 10 minutes long) but I'll try again when I can, later. Avoiding all the spoilers for Farewell's ending was well worth it because WOW that was sad and it also explained a lot. Farewell really is a full story within a story. Anyways Celeste is the best game I've ever played!!! You should play it!!!

ljxa is banned from the english wikipedia. jolly good

how many hands does this music think i have?

i feel wretched, absolutely rotten and despicable

ljxa already tried to contact me on wikipedia and i was understandably pissed about it. i left a smouldering message on their talk. the one common characteristic all ljxa accounts have is placing immense weight on speaking niche languages. (for context, in comparison, gifting each other random things is a perfectly natural occupation.) "tumbuka wikipedia"

is this ljxa

is this ljxa

is this ljxa

is this ljxa

if this is ljxa i am SUPER PISSED. why do you think i erase every bit or other, why do you think i rebranded my entire darflen account and changed the username?? i want to be left ALONE. at least on the sites that matter like wikipedia. how difficult is it to understand and respect the privacy of a stranger on the internet? what, do you want to buddy up to me so i can kindly ask paradock to unban you? think again and GTFO, moron

if this isn't ljxa i joyfully apologise, because any random person is better than ljxa. but still. realistically, who else is it going to be.

this (detailed in comments) is borderline creepy behaviour aswell